Dad to be! - Pregnancy help and advice for dads
After the elation of finding out your wife's pregnant, you'll likely find yourself pondering whether everything you've always heard about sex and babies is true. Will you still be as turned on by your wife during and after pregnancy? ....more
Having a pregnant wife can be a stressful time for both the husband and the wife. The wife, though, bears the brunt of pregnancy's trials. A responsible husband should try his best to ease the burden off his spouse during this high-stress period ....more
If you are trying to have your first baby, you have probably experienced how excited your wife can be with early pregnancy testing. We have been trying to for years to have our own baby, and frankly my wife has been addicted to these tests. She had it so bad that she developed EPTS (Early Pregnancy Testing Syndrome) ....more
So you’re expecting twins. Congratulations! Are you still in shock? I sure was. The thought of bringing two babies into the world at one time scared the heck out of me, especially since I was already the father of two boys (ages five and three) ....more
In this article I write about my joy of becoming a parent and about how my life has changed since the birth of my son. It came as quite a shock to me a few years ago when my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant. We had in truth been trying for a baby, but I never thought it would happen. I am not really sure why this was, I am stupid I know. I have to admit that I was quite scared at first but now feel very lucky and he has truly changed my life in a positive way ....more
Sex life after pregnancy - by Paul Banas
Your changing sex life
After the elation of finding out your wife's pregnant, you'll likely find yourself pondering whether everything you've always heard about sex and babies is true. Will you still be as turned on by your wife during and after pregnancy? Will sex during pregnancy make either of you too worried about hurting the baby to enjoy yourself? Will your wife be as sexually motivated as she was while you were trying to get pregnant? The only thing certain is that your sex life will change. The cold hard facts are that you will likely be having less sex from now on, a condition that extends beyond the birth of your new baby. Most of this is never discussed between dads, unless with a knowing wink or a pained joke.
In the first trimester, you might feel hornier than ever. You'll feel closer to your wife than ever before. You may feel a strange pride that people will know that you're responsible for the baby growing insider her. On the other hand, pregnancy may create some contradictions. You now will be having sex with a mom, which might seem less than sexy to you. More likely, however, is that your wife's increasingly full and curvy form will seem more erotic to you.
Your wife's desires will go up and down and can vary from trimester to trimester. She may be less inhibited without birth control, more intimate with you due to your new responsibility, and more sexy because of her filled out shape. For your sake, we'll hope for this scenario. On the other hand, she may spend a lot of the first trimester vomiting. She may feel more maternal and less sexual, or she may just feel fat and unattractive.
Everyone worries at least a little bit about sex hurting the baby. It's hard not imagine pushing deep into the baby's temporary home with every thrust. Your baby is safe, however, within a cushioned amniotic fluid-filled sac. There is very little risk to your baby unless you're having very rough sex.
What you can do
As with most issues within a relationship, the best thing you can do is talk about your needs and desires. You may have to take the lead to try new positions and other options since traditional positions may become too painful or uncomfortable in the last months. Whatever makes your mate the most comfortable is your best chance at having a sex life through the third trimester.
Hubbie Help: Simple ways a husband can help a pregnant wife - by Elysiana Canlas
Having a pregnant wife can be a stressful time for both the husband and the wife. The wife, though, bears the brunt of pregnancy's trials. A responsible husband should try his best to ease the burden off his spouse during this high-stress period.
Here are a few simple ways to help your pregnant wife through these troubling times:
1) Look Out For Her Health, Both Mentally And Physically
Your wife's health is very important. Pregnant women experience many changes, both physically and emotionally as they progress through their pregnancy. These changes can be sometimes not noticeable to the woman herself. Expecting fathers can be a big help by learning about the pregnancy progress and watching out for his partner's health. This can be done by encouraging her to eat a proper diet and avoiding cigarettes, alcohol and the use of unnecesary drugs.
A proper diet for a pregnant woman is for her to eat a variety of nutritious foods. Sharing in her diet would be helpful in having your pregnant wife maintain it. Focus on eating vegetables, fruits, grains, dairy products and meat. This can even go beyond the pregnancy and actually become a habit. Eating healthy is good for your body and your growing children may learn to adopt nutritious eating habits from you.
Smoking and alcohol have been both proven to have detrimental effects for children in the womb. If your wife is addicted to either, help her to quit as soon as possible. Also, second-hand smoke is also a great danger. Keep away from the smokes or quit altogether. This goes the same for alcohol; it's never wise to tempt your wife by drinking while she can't. As for unnecessary drug use, try to ask a doctor first before using any over-the-counter drugs to make sure no negative side-effects can result from it.
You should also take note of your wife's moodswings. Try helping her deal with her temperamental nature during her pregnancy. Be understanding. When she's depressed, cheer her up. When she's angry, calm her down. When she's insecure, have long talks with her to reassure her that you love her and your unborn child. Assisting your wife through these trying times is one of your primary duties as a husband.
2) Physical Activity
Exercise is another way for a husband to help his pregnant spouse. It can be fun and stress relieving. Remember to check with her doctor about an exercise regimen before beginning. Choose exercise that are not too strenuous or dangerous. Taking long walks with her would be an excellent choice; the scenery would relax her and your companionship would do wonders for her your relationship.
Also, helping with the housework is a great way to help your pregnant wife. Try doing the chores that involve heavy lifting or strenuous work. Have her skip any household job that requires the use of aerosols or products with strong fumes, like cleaning the bathroom or painting. Taking care of the family pet should also be your job. Quite a few animal-related sicknesses are a threat to your pregnant wife and unborn child's safety.
3) Preparing for Child Birth:
Taking childbirth preparation classes can hep you get ready for the big event. It also gives you the opportunity to discuss pregnancy with other pregnant couples in a less stressful environment than a doctor's office. Meeting other expecting couples also gives you the chance to swap stories and share the joys of the pregnancy.
Childbirth classes operate on the belief that the more you know about the pregnancy process, the less anxious you'd feel and the more you'd feel that you and your wife are in control.
There are three types of childbirth preparation classes. The Lamaze method is probably the most popular: it concentrates on helping to ease the pain of childbirth through breathing exercises and by educating the expecting couple. The Bradley method focuses more on educating the couple and giving the husband a more active part in the birthing process. The Leboyer method's primary interest is in the unborn child itself; trying to make it more comfortable for the baby both inside and outside the womb.
Whatever method you choose, the classes usually last from five to nine weeks. Check with your doctor or the local hospital on what classes are offered. No matter what method you and your wife choose, they all help your pregnant wife, and yourself, greatly with dealing with the pregnancy.
4) Take Care Of Yourself, Too:
Focusing on your wife is important, but try to take care of yourself, too. It wouldn't do for your wife to see you as a nervous wreck. Pay attention to your own moods, needs and worries. Talking with your pregnant wife about your concerns can ease some of that worry. Discussion with your wife can help ease the stress and assist you both in weathering the ups and downs of the pregnancy.
Hopefully, these simple pointers help you on your trip towards fatherhood and help you and your wife to experience and appreciate the joys of pregnant life more.
My weird experience with early pregnancy testing - by Morgan Hamilton
If you are trying to have your first baby, you have probably experienced how excited your wife can be with early pregnancy testing. We have been trying to for years to have our own baby, and frankly my wife has been addicted to these tests. She had it so bad that she developed EPTS (Early Pregnancy Testing Syndrome).
Our doctor has repeatedly told her that research has shown that early pregnancy testing is not always accurate and it takes about two weeks to accumulate enough HCG for a test to give a positive result. He told her that in his opinion, the tests are a waste of time and money. But there was still no stopping my wife from using the test to discover if we have finally managed to create our own offspring.
My wife orders cases of pregnancy test on the Internet; she stores them in our bathroom so she can satisfy her early pregnancy testing Jones whenever she wants to. She would share her frustration with me. She told me that waiting for three minutes to come with a result can seem like hours. I have often seen her in sitting in our bath counter, holding the test in her hand, begging the line to show up.
It can be amusing to watch her go through her early pregnancy testing ritual every morning. She would stand there after the three minute waiting period and twist the test in every angle possible. She would do a lot of things with the test like putting it right up her nose or holding it at arms length.
I can’t help but smile when I see her squinting her eyes in the hope that the blur in the test will turn into the positive line. She even ripped apart a testing kit to see if the line is more visible outside the casing. One time, she even dug out an hour old test from the trash bin to see if a line has miraculously appeared.
You might think that her obsession with early pregnancy testing would end when she finally became pregnant. She couldn’t believe that she finally tested positive. It took five positive results from five testing kits to convince her that she was finally carrying our baby. She had seen too many negative results that she didn’t recognize a positive result when she saw one.
Twins pregnancy...A father's point of view - by Dan Brunkow
So you’re expecting twins. Congratulations!
Are you still in shock? I sure was. The thought of bringing two babies into the world at one time scared the heck out of me, especially since I was already the father of two boys (ages five and three). I remembered how much work the first year was with both of them, with all of the diapers, the bottles, the sleepless nights, etc… I wondered how in the world we were going to do it with two babies? I immediately started stressing out about all of things that we were going to go through once the babies were born. Little did I know at the time that the most stressful part of having twins was already upon us…the pregnancy.
I did not know at the time that a twin pregnancy is not at all like a single pregnancy. With our first two pregnancies, it was relatively low impact for me (I know, all of the women reading this are rolling their eyes, especially my wife). But to my wife’s credit, it’s true. I figured I had about eight months to play as much golf as I could before the birth of the twins, and that’s when I would really have to become involved. After all, my work was already done for the time being, right? Boy, was I wrong!
There are many things that happened during the pregnancy that surprised me, or that no one told me about. I’d like to tell you about some of those things here, so maybe you’ll be a little more prepared for what happens during a twin pregnancy than I was.
First, pre-term labor is fairly common in a twin pregnancy. I didn’t even know what pre-term labor was until it happened to my wife. This was definitely the most stressful thing about the pregnancy, and it’s something that I don’t remember anyone warning me about. Maybe my wife mentioned it to me, but you know how it is, there was probably a ball game or something. My wife went to a routine check-up at about the 25th week of pregnancy. After being gone for an abnormally long time, she phoned me from the hospital and told me that they were keeping her overnight because she was having contractions. What a shock! I couldn’t understand how that could be so early in the pregnancy. The babies were less than 3 lbs. each at the time, so we were both extremely worried. They wound up giving her medication to stop labor and kept her in the hospital for a couple of days. This was the first of four trips to the hospital to stop labor. The good news was that the medication that they gave her successfully stopped the contractions each time, and she was able to carry the twins past 36 weeks.
Second, prepare for bed rest. My wife wound up going on bed rest for about the last four weeks of the pregnancy. This is a very common occurrence for a twin pregnancy, so you need to prepare yourselves for it. We were fairly lucky because my wife was a stay at home mother, so we did not have to worry about her taking time off from her job. We were also very fortunate that my mother-in-law was able to come and stay with us during that time to help with our two boys and to help out around the house. I’m not sure what we would have done without her. My advice is to recruit family and friends if you can to help out. But however you do it, take bed rest very seriously. Make sure you’re wife stays off of her feet. There’s a good reason why many mothers of twins are put on bed rest by their doctor, and that’s so she doesn’t go into labor too early. You want your wife to carry those babies as long as she can for the health of your twins. Oh, and needless to say, golf was just not an option while my wife was on bed rest.
Third, don’t expect a full-term pregnancy. It very rarely happens with twins. The goal of a twin pregnancy is to carry them at least 36 weeks. Once you reach that mark you are considered to be out of the ‘danger zone’. Even though 36 weeks is the target, many twins are delivered earlier. What this means is that you have less time to get everything ready for the new arrivals. I would suggest getting the babies room ready earlier, start buying those baby items that you need to purchase, get things done around the house that need to be done. During this pregnancy, you may not have time to wait until the last minute!
Finally, you are about to embark on an emotional and stressful, next few months. It was truly an emotional roller coaster for us. I’ll never forget our fourth trip to the hospital because of pre-term labor. My wife started having contractions again at around week 34. The babies were both more than 5 lbs., so we were sure that they would just let it go and we could finally deliver the twins. We thought that the twins were big enough and strong enough to be born safely, so I packed up the overnight bag and the camera and we headed for the hospital, positive that we were going to finally have the twins that day. After all of the other trips to the hospital, we were ready. Once we got to the hospital we were immediately put in a delivery room. And then the contractions stopped…all by themselves. We asked the doctor to induce labor, and he refused, for the safety of the twins. Of course he was right, but we were both devastated. We were just emotionally and mentally exhausted. My wife cried all the way home.
My best advice to you is to try to stay calm, help and support your wife (she truly is doing most of the work), and trust your doctor’s advice. Remember, you’re goal is to try and carry the babies at least until week 36, which will greatly decrease the chance of complications with the birth of your twins. Do everything you can to make this happen. Trust me, even though a twin pregnancy is a very trying time for the mother and the father, its well worth it once those twins arrive!
The joy of becoming a father - by Steve Hill
In this article I write about my joy of becoming a parent and about how my life has changed since the birth of my son. It came as quite a shock to me a few years ago when my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant. We had in truth been trying for a baby, but I never thought it would happen. I am not really sure why this was, I am stupid I know. I have to admit that I was quite scared at first but now feel very lucky and he has truly changed my life in a positive way.
Around a week before my son was born, I decided to go out for a few beers with a couple of friends. It was like one last night out of freedom before being thrust into parenthood. During this particular night I remember thinking something like, I will miss this. For some reason I actually thought that becoming a father would end any social life that I had and would be the start of a life of choirs.
The feeling of emotion and happiness when I first set eyes on and held my son is very hard to describe . He was so small and light. I was handed some milk to feed him and he soon started to knock it back, a bit like me with the beer I thought to myself. My girlfriend left the room to have a bath and I was left in the room on my own, holding the baby as they say. I could not stop staring at him, he was so perfect. Scared, what an idiot I thought, you are the luckiest man alive.
My whole attitude to life has now changed, in the past socialising with my friends was a massive part of my life. Even though I still do go out with them, I have to say it is probably only around half as much as I used to. You might think I am sad but when I am out I do miss all of my family including my son.
Every morning he is the first one to wake up and walks into our room and says, morning! I wake up and there in front of me is my son with a beaming smile on his face. Can you get me some breakfast dad please? He loves his food! This is the best type of alarm I have ever had.
I have always been the type of person who is often anxious and stressed. This can even turn into a period of sustained depression. Nowadays whenever I feel any of these symptoms I spend as much time as possible with my son as he soon puts a smile back onto my face.
I feel very sorry for people who are unable to have children and find it very hard to understand people who choose not to have any.
I am as you can no doubt tell, a very proud parent and would do anything for my son. Even when he is naughty I find it hard to be angry at him for more than about two minutes. I have recently spent a weekend at a friends stag party. I have to say it was a lot of fun and I had a great time but despite all of this I could not wait to get back home.
I now have something to really live for and the future is really exciting for possibly the first time in my life.
There are many things that I am looking forward to including:
Taking my son for his first beer
Taking my son to watch the football
Taking my son to play snooker
Seeing my son with his first girlfriend
Becoming a grandad
These of course are just a small number of many things which really excite me in the future.
For any people out there who are unsure about whether they want to become a parent, I can honestly say that from a personal experience it has been amazing.